I never in my life... thought this would be me but here I am. We’ve been together for 10 yrs and He started acting different in November. I knew something was up but I truly was hoping it wasn’t the case. A little back story.... we’ve been trying to conceive for 6 yrs. we have no children..... We ended up talking and he confessed that he’s been sleeping with this girl he works with. Apologized, said he hopes I could forgive him and he’d like to work on things.... I told him I could forgive him and if he truly made a mistake and wants to fix this.... yes, I will fight for our marriage. Well.... I told him if this is going to work he’s going to have to cut her off and stop talking to her..... he said he would talk to her...... I told him to text her and he said no it’s a conversation he needs to have face to face......

...goes to work the next day, we both do..... he comes home and i ask him if he spoke to her..... he said before he told her..... she told him she feels dizzy and her nose is bleeding and she thinks she might be pregnant.......

..... are you fucking kidding.....? Lovely..... so now we need to wait to see if she’s pregnant..... pees on a stick and she’s not..... okay are we fixing this.....? He then tells me he doesn’t know if he can let her go..... side note.... my husband has only ever been with me..... I know this for sure. So he tells me they have feelings for eachother and I asked if he loves her and if they tell eachother they love eachother and he says yes.... I don’t know what there is to love if all you do is fuck in the car but okay...... she also has a small child. So..... you go and tell your side peice that we’ve been struggling to have kids..... and when you go to break up with her.... she tells you she might be pregnant..... riiiiiiight.... didn’t think my husband was this dumb but okay......

So here we are.... having to socially isolate..... I tried to kick him out but he says if he walks away he forfeits his rights to half when we sell it. I’m fine having him here because I can’t pay the bills on my own but we will be separating. I was holding onto hope that this could change but it is what it is. At least I know I can start detaching myself emotionally. I don’t want to be spiteful and fight him for anything. He has to walk around with the shame of what he did. I will and can put my head down at night knowing I didn’t do this and i tried. He will suffer later. I told him he made the biggest mistake of his fucking life but..... he needs to be happy and if he isn’t anymore, I’m not staying in a marriage out of fear of being alone. I will be fine. I took all our lovey dovey shit off the walls today and to pass the time.... I will be painting the spare rooms. :)

I’m in Ontario Canada so if anyone here has any experience or advice for me, I’d appreciate it. I know I can’t do much right now because of the Corona virus so I will have to wait it all out but any help would be appreciated.