I have severely bad trust issues. I’m talking bad bad and I’m so thankful and blessed that my husband is able to put up with me and understand and be patient with me about it. The sad part is, is that it has nothing to do with him. I was with the same manipulative, lying, verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive guy on and off for 8 years between the ages of 13-20 years old. (We are a year apart) When I was younger my mom tried to put me in therapy to try to get me away from him and not go back to him but it obviously didn’t work. I had a child with him at the age of 17 so I still have to have contact with him for our daughter who just turned 8 years old. We are definitely better separate, we get a long better now that we are not together. I’ve forgave him for what he had done to me in years earlier so I could try and heal. I left my now husband back in 2015 for my daughters dad (he manipulated me into breaking up with my now husband who was my BF at the time) But It’s now been 5 years since we’ve been together and I’ve been with my husband for 4 years married for 3 this year and everyday I’m ALWAYS overthinking stuff he says or does even though it’s completely innocent and deep down I know it is but I still can’t mentally help from overthinking the situation or words. Even though he’s doing NOTHING. He lets me go through his phone whenever I want. He says it upsets him that I can’t trust him but he says he will wait and be patient for when I’m ready and able to because he loves me and he would never leave me over something like this that I am able to overcome. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. I’m not just like this towards him I’m like this towards EVERYONE. I don’t trust anyone. I feel like that whole relationship has messed me up mentally so bad. 😭 I just want to trust him but I mentally can’t. 😞😔 I’m just here to get advice from you ladies and how you overcame your trust issues. My husband suggested going and speaking to a therapist but obviously in our current nation wide pandemic situation going on I can’t. 😔

Sorry for such a long post. This is the first time I have ever publicly talked this in depth about the situation to anyone.