My boyfriend officially proposed on March 15th. I’m very happy to be engaged to him and so excited for the rest of our lives together. We’ve been together for three years and he’s in the military with a PCS coming up that would take him overseas so I knew the proposal was coming. I just didn’t know when or how. He kept telling me that he was taking his time because he wanted it to super special and different for the both of us. As much as it was my proposal, it was his too so I didn’t give too much comment bc I was confident that he knew me. All this to say, about half my family came to town for spring break and my boyfriend proposed in front of all the adult members while we were playing a game. Of course, I said yes and there was lots of congratulations and we ended the night shortly after bc it was late.

So not long after, him and his friend “jokingly” made a comment about how they were upset I didn’t cry. I brushed it off but honestly I was in shock and I also have diagnosed anxiety that intensifies when I’m put on the spot. My cousin comforted me down from a panic attack. I hate crying in front of others besides my now fiancé so even if I felt the tears, I would have held them back. Even though I knew I was happy he proposed, I felt upset bc he did in front of a lot of people when I thought he knew I would have been more comfortable with something more intimate. I also have a son and I thought he had hinted at including him in it but when he asked, my son was upstairs with the other kids. Lastly, he really made it seem like he was planning something that was taking time and effort but he seemed to have done it on a whim. I want to be clear here that I’m not upset he didn’t do something big and extravagant, I’m just wondering why he would make comments about how much he’s putting into the proposal plan and then propose in a way that doesn’t match.

I also understand that not everyone who wants it gets a proposal or a wedding or a marriage etc. And I am grateful that I am having all the above with an amazing partner. But I do feel upset bc I’m happy that he proposed and we’re engaged but I also thought I was going to be in love with our engagement story and be happy to tell it but instead, I really dislike telling it and it makes me queasy thinking about how anxious it made me. I feel bad that I don’t have the right emotions that I feel like he deserves for having just became engaged.

Is this something worth talking to him about or should I keep it to myself? Also, am I being an asshole for being unhappy with it?