Sad and sort of jealous

I see all these couples happy on this app and though I know some things are just masks I cant help but think I wish I had that

I deserved that.

I didn't deserve to be cheated on.

Not at all but definitely after all I have given or have done.

I gave up my life for this man just for him to try to replace me.

And though I haven't left him I know nothing will ever be the same

I don't feel anything anymore

I loved him so fucking much

And still I don't want him to leave me


Somehow I still feel like I'm losing

My children's father my life partner myself..

I wont be happy either way.

I never planned for this

I guess they are right, being ready for a relationship is being ready for working and not working out..

And I never imagined this

I trusted him so much.

My lifes been nothing but pain and he knew I had no one else and didn't care

He put our kids in the position to lose their daddy or even their lives

I just don't understand

I will never understand selfishness.