Irregular Periods

Okay so I hope that there are people out there that relate to my situation! I am 21 and I have been taking the birth control pill for about 4 years now ( I take it almost completely regularly, the time I take it everyday maybe vary by a few hours) and I am currently seeing a guy and we have sex without a condom but he always pulls out. I have very irregular periods (2 within one month and then it skips a month usually). I feel like when I get to the month that it usually skips I get SUPER paranoid that I am pregnant and I don’t know what to do. I am too much of a wuss to take an at home pregnancy test cause I don’t know what I would do it if actually came up positive. Someone please help!!! 😅😭