I live in NY and in the last few days my fb feed is starting to fill with death. Several friends from high school and college lost a parent to this disease, and others lost their friends. People in their 30s and 40s. I’m scared for myself, my parents, my child.

His first birthday party would have been in 2 weeks. I was going to take off work. It’s also my parents anniversary. And now I can’t help thinking either one of them could be gone by then. I could be gone by then.

UPDATE

I read a half dozen more unofficial obituaries in my fb feed today. My aunt (that lives with my parents) had a coworker test positive. My mom said she feels like she’s getting a combination of hayfever and bronchitis. I’m trying not to freak out bc it’s completely out of my control but fuck! Up until two weeks ago she’s seen my son almost every day of his life. She dropped off food for us last week from work. Just left it on the porch and we waved to her. It could still be fine. It could be nothing; or even if it’s covid she could still be ok.

UPDATE 2

She’s on her second sick day from work now, basically for the first time in 20 years. Still no fever but sitting home with a heating pad which is just not her. Normally she can’t sit still. My son turns 1 in just under 2 weeks. In my nightmares she can’t even video chat for his birthday cake bc she’s on a ventilator. This virus steals futures so quickly. But it could still be fine, right?