So about 2 years ago my husband and I almost got a divorce. We were coming off of drugs and were both extremely unhappy, together and apart. He treats me badly sometimes and doesn't see it, talks down to me and says things purposely to hurt me. Along with other things that we have discussed but never change. He is 13 years older than me and it was never even something i thought about in the beginning of our relationship. But then things started to change and he would neglect me and my need for affection. (Take it this way we have sex once a month twice if im lucky and I've always been a sexual person!!!) I ended up forming feelings for another man who was just a friend at first but we became more than that and I fell in love with him. How romantic and passionate he was towards me was something I hadn't gotten to experience in years and it was something that I had been craving in my life. I was foolish and didn't care about how I would make my husband feel because of how cold he had been treating me for the past year of our marriage. He has never gotten me an anniversary, birthday or just an I love you card and I know that stuff isn't important but its still something I crave from time to time. Just to feel Im wanted and appreciated. Ive expressed my depression, unhappiness and need for these few stupid thing's with my husban just to have things change for a day or 2 then things would always go back to the way they were... Long story short my husband found out about the other man so I broke it off with him to try and save my marriage for my sons sake and then he left town. Two years later things in my marriage are still pretty much the same and he shows back up begging me to speak to him....I feel like an awful person because I find myself wanting to reconnect with this man but I also don't want to destroy my marriage even though Im not happy with my husband, I don't want my son to suffer from my decisions.... I honestly don't know what to do. Half of me wants to run away with him but the other half wants me to do nothing and be unhappy for my sons happiness...

UPDATE:

This affair I had was 2 years ago and I have not seen or spoke to the man up until yesterday. (We only texted) I do miss the attention he gives me and the way he makes me feel but I also know he's probably only back for the sex. I do love my husband as neglectful as he can be sometimes emotionally and even physically. I know deep down this other man is bad for everything about me. And over the past 2 years my husband and i have been trying to fix our relationship because when we first got together 9years ago we were madly in love and were both clean and not doing drugs at the time. We got hooked on drugs after i had surgery and shared my meds with him... (I know STUPID and totally wrong) We were hooked on drugs until I got pregnant and then we went into recovery and got clean. We've been clean sense but our relationship has never been the same. We are working on things still and sometimes I just need to remind myself that....

Update#2

Ive been doing some serious soul searching like some of you ladies have recommended.... Ive been unhappy for going on 3 years on and off. I know I don't want to be with the other guy but I also think being single for a while would do me A LOT OF GOOD. Ive been in relationships back to back sense I was 13 (28now I've been with my husband for 8 years but we've been married for 4yearsand I honestly don't know what life is like without being in a relationship.... Its something im still thinking about and haven't told a soul but my brother and best friend about. Sometimes I ask myself how I ended up this unhappy... Sometimes I let myself think this is what i deserve but I honestly wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy!!!! To feel trapped in a situation I struggle to get through every day without crying. My son has even started being disrespectful towards me because he sees his father do it and he hears our arguments(Not saying ALL of my son's behaviour problems are my husband's because he hears us both saying awful things to each other) I have no control over anything and somethings gotta give!!! Time to make some serious decisions... And its TERRIFYING to think about!!!!