Why do I feel this way?

Question

My entire life I wanted to be a mom and I always imagined myself having a daughter. I'm 23 years old and I just had my third son at the beginning of March. With my first I didn't care what I got and was so excited to find out I was having a boy. My second I was a little disappointed at first but got over it quickly. With my third, I bawled. I still love him and my other boys more than anything of course. And I know how blessed I am just to have these babies. But I'm only 5 weeks postpartum and I already have major baby fever and I think it's just because I'm desperate for a daughter (which I know isn't guaranteed of course). I just feel like, as much as I love my sons, I was meant to have a daughter. I cant picture my life without one. My third is my boyfriends first and as much as he loves him and my older two he's pretty sure he doesnt want anymore. Honestly there have been some recent problems in the relationship anyways so I dont even know if that's something I'll have to worry about forever. But I'd like to know if anyone else feels this way? I know I need to wait quite a while before having another (none of my babies were planned, my second and third were conceived on birth control) for financial reasons as well as giving my body a break. But it's like even though I know that logically, my body and my heart just dont want to wait. Someone please tell me I'm not crazy and please give me some tips on getting rid of or distracting baby fever. I dont even know how I have it considering all my boys are under age 5 and my newborn is a very difficult baby.

Answer

Mom of 4 here!  3 boys, then my girl. I could have written the first part of your post, myself. I will say this, 4 is a lot! If you and your partner do not have SOLID foundation, it's going to be fucking hard, not only on you, but your kids. My husband and I talked about having a 4th for almost a year, before deciding we can do it. It limits a lot if what you can do, but we're ok with that. Our newest realization is that we can never buy a 5 passenger vehicle again,lol.
Anyways, if you decide you both decide you want to try for that girl. We dtd on the 3rd day before my most fertile day, he also ejaculated with only the tip in. (Sounds weird, but look it up) There's also changes you can make to your diet, to help. 
I wish you the best of luck! Also, I would have been perfectly happy with my 3 boys, I loved being a boy mom, but now that I have my girl, I feel complete. You'll have what you're meant to have, don't let it stress you out too much. 
One more thing, if you decide to try for the girl, you need to go into it, mentally ready to accept that it could be a boy again. Come to terms with that and they're won't be disappointments, like before.

Answer

I think you need to focus on your infant and two small children for now. You’re fixating on something that may not be in the cards for you. This may be some form of PPD, if it continues speak to your doctor. What do you feel as though you’re missing? Sometimes we forget the ideas we have about/for our children aren’t how things turn out but also, feeling that you’re missing out on something might actually cause you to miss out with the kids you have. 
I have three teenage sons. I’ve never been upset about it and have a great relationship with each of my boys. Having all boys was part of the reason my niece and I bonded immediately. She became my pseudo-daughter. We have an amazing relationship and I’ve been given a place in all of her important happenings. I never had a daughter of my own, but she has come close. She’s given me a little of that and she knows it. 
What I’m saying is, we don’t always have the life we’ve envisioned but that doesn’t mean it’ll be any less great or you won’t have a version of it some day. Good luck.

Answer

I think you should seek out counseling and talk to your doctor. Part of what your feeling could very well be PPD. It's normal to have gender disappointment, but important that you find a way to handle it so that it doesn't effect any of your relationships.

Why do I feel this way?

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