Okay like Wtf

Okay so I have a problem... I am 14 with partner and we were talking and we kinda wanted to take our relationship up a lvl and before you freak out no I did not have sex I am 14 and in isolation. We thought it might be fun to sext not nudes or anything just like kinky talk and stuff and role play. I like it at the time and it was good masturbation material. But the next day I has several panic attacks over it and I felt really bad about it and sick and I didn’t like it... but I did at the time..? Also may I add when we had our first kiss I also did not enjoy it although it was just a peck. I also don’t like hand holding as my hands get sweaty... pls help what is wrong with me and how am I supposed to meet my partner’s expectations of hand holding and kisses... it makes me anxious.