I’m exhausted

Today, for the first time I celebrated Easter alone. No family dinner, no fun events, no going outside. Today I sat at home and cried as I watched my daughters first Easter be destroyed by this pandemic because people can’t stay inside. Today my husband worked an extra long shift. It’s 11pm and he’s still not home. Today my daughter was upset because mommy was upset and she didn’t know why. Today my emotions were so fried I yelled at her for crying because I was cleaning spilled baby food instead of holding her. Today I broke down and cried. Today I don’t feel happy. Today was supposed to be a fun day, a happy day, but I spent it alone. Please please stay home to prevent this from getting worse. Today I realized how much light this disease is destroying. How many firsts are being torn down; first birthdays, anniversaries, births, holidays. Today I realized this will never end because people can’t listen. Today my mental health hit a wall and I don’t know how to recover.