You were born in the midst of a pandemic. There were times I questioned if your dad would be allowed to be with me in the hospital. Thank God he was.

Sometime during 35-38 weeks, you had stopped growing in utero. Your heart was fine, yet, as a precaution, my doctor and I agreed that I should be induced at 39 weeks. Just a few days before your due date, April 1st.

In the days leading up to the induction, I had started having occasional pre-labor contractions. Then, the day we were due to go to the hospital, the contractions became 5 minutes apart.

We walked into the hospital and were stopped to be asked questions regarding covid. We were then led to the birthing center and the room we would spend the next 2 days in.

I was 4 cm dilated. We decided I would just carry on laboring naturally.

After 5 hours of early labor, I was still 4 cm. So they decided to put me on pitocin.

The contractions, at first, seemed easy for me to breathe through. The stronger they got, the more determined I became to breathe through them, the nurses said I was doing amazing.

I was open to an epidural if I felt I couldn’t carry on. Which eventually happened.

First, they gave me stadol, to take the edge off so I could sleep. After about an hour, I awoke to the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life.

Back and leg contractions. I was still trying to breathe through them, but the breaths I was letting out, came out as screams. After what felt like an eternity, I decided to get the epidural.

I had tried walking, swaying, bending over the bed, being on my knees and swaying my hips, visualizing a different place, and your daddy rubbing my back. None of this helped. When any of it did help, it wouldn’t help for the next one.

Getting the epidural was hard, mostly because I kept having back contractions while they were putting it in. Trying to stay still during those was probably the hardest thing I did.

When I got the epidural, I was 7 cm. When it kicked in, I slept until it was time to push.

You were born March 30th, 2020 at 1:38 PM. You were 6 lbs 5 oz. and 19 inches long. You have a full head of hair. You are beautiful.