So, I had sex Sunday night. We started off using condoms and then right before the session ended (after I gave him head one last time) he inserted his penis inside of me raw. It didn’t last 60 seconds nor did he ejaculate inside of me (not sure about presence of precum) before I said “no more”.

We’ve spoken about status before and he has told me that he was negative and that the last time he had sex was over a month ago

He might be telling the truth but I’m going insane.

I am meeting with PPH tomorrow to ask for PEP because although it is highly likely he’s telling the truth, there’s that voice in my head that’s telling me “what if he lied and the 72 hour window to take PEP had gone and now you’re stuck?”

After this most recent panic, I’ve realized that I have A LOT of anxiety when it comes to sex. Although I enjoy sex very much I am literally NEVER at ease afterwards even if I had a good time... I’m relatively relaxed in most areas of my life but when it comes to sex, even if a condom was used the entire time and all the necessary precautions were taken, I can’t help but have these feelings 😓

I kind of just wanted to get this off my chest cause it’s been weighting HEAVILY since I got home Sunday night. I don’t have a primary doctor and and the nearest clinic to me in shut down due to covid so I’m having to drive to the nearest state and it’s just all too much 😭