God is testing me

28/3/19 👼💔Mummy to a beautiful girl 17/08/2021💗

So last year in march I miscarried at 10 weeks 💔 in september, november and January I kept getting faint positives (not evaps) and then they went to negative few days of testing.... now I'm 41 days late for my period. Last period was 1st of February. I'm starting to wonder that I havent been having chemical pregnancies and there's something wrong. Gp asked me to test again which I did today and its negative again 🥺🥺🥺 I feel like I'm getting punished and that I will never be a mother. I'm heartbroken!!! Has anyone else had this problem that they kept getting positives and then negatives on and off?? I dont even know my own body anymore 💔