Hi guys,

So first I’ll say that my husband is a really great guy. He’s an awesome father and takes great care of us. He helps around the house, does laundry, gets up with the kids in the night, etc.

We had our second baby in August 2019. We also have a 3 year old and have been married 4 years, together 7.

Ever since I had our 2nd babe, I’ve had a very low libido. I just never feel like having sex. I’m breastfeeding, I’m taking an antidepressant, most of the time I’m emotionally and physically “touched out” by the end of the day and the last thing I want is sex. But my husband has a relatively high sex drive.

I try to make an effort to have sex with him like every 4-5 days or so to make him happy. I do enjoy it physically when we do, but I never feel like it before hand, and wouldn’t miss it if we didn’t. I know it takes a toll on our relationship by not having sex as often as we used to. We have an agreement with each other: no porn, no masterbating. We both abide by the two rules so I feel it’s my duty to hold up my end of the bargain, to have sex with him regularly to ensure his needs are being met.

Anyway, that said, I’ve noticed these last few months that it seems like he is pressuring me into sex with him, and I dread when I know it’s been several days and he’s probably going to ask for sex that night, because it often leads to pressure.

When I’m doing my bedtime routine he’ll text or ask “want to play around?.. no is fine too.” And I’ll usually say “I’m not in the mood but a cuddle would be nice.” We never touch each other just to be intimate without it leading to sex and I hate it. So we lay down together and I try to talk about other things, and he inevitably starts talking about little things that I do that turn him on, or say he has a boner or whatever. And I just laugh it off and say this isn’t helping, and change the subject. And later he returns back to talking about sex, and then sometimes he just starts grabbing himself in front of me. Sometimes he’ll ask if it’s okay for him to. I never know what to say so I say yes. Of course I want him to be satisfied. But then it always leads to me joining in and we have sex. Literally every time he asks for a hand job or anything like that it ends with me having sex with him, and I feel... disrespected I guess is the word.

So basically with this cycle we’re in, I feel like I have to have sex with him and my opinion or feelings ultimately don’t matter?

Idk I’m basically asking what you would do? Is this normal? Is it okay?

Thanks for reading my long post.