Hubby in denial?

Question

Is anyone else feeling disconnected from their spouse after finding out they were pregnant? I found out 2 days ago and I’m sooo excited and wanting to start talking about baby names and making a shopping list for the baby’s room and my husband is just not excited at all. 
He’s not unhappy or anything (this baby was planned so he wanted it too!) but he keeps saying we need to basically wait until the second trimester before treating this like it’s “real”. He has even used the phrase “let’s wait until we know if you’re REALLY pregnant.” 
I’m just so confused and sad about the fact that he seems like he’s in denial about this or that he is expecting the worst case scenario to happen and that I have a miscarriage. Just wondering if anyone else can relate to this when they had a planned pregnancy?

Answer

Just remember all feelings are valid & this may be making him feel things he was unprepared for. Just allow him to work through it & support him, he’s going to support you through the hard bits later.

Answer

I went through two miscarriages and I’m pregnant again, 7+1, and I remember feeling the same. Especially during the miscarriage. While I knew I had his support he just couldn’t understand since we never saw or heard a heart beat and he couldn’t relate. I learned then that it doesn’t really hit men until they’re holding the baby for the first time. They’re not growing it inside them so it’s not as big of a deal right now. Men are very different in that sense. I don’t think it’s bad or that he means any harm I just understand that I’m the one that is sick, and the one uncomfortable, where for him he’s just sort of seeing it and reacting. Give him some more time.

Answer

My husband was the same way with our first. With this one he’s definitely a little more relaxed and willing to talk about things. We think we might have a name picked out already and we just found out yesterday 😂 (even before we had our son we talked about names for our kids so we kind of already had ideas). 
They don’t connect with the baby the same way we do as moms. There’s a saying I heard that a woman becomes a mother when she finds out she’s pregnant, but a man doesn’t become a father until he meets his child. And I really feel that’s true in most cases. Don’t be upset if he’s not as excited as you, he likely just hasn’t processed and made the connection that he’s really going to be a dad and it’s not just a test saying you are.

Answer

My partner was the same with our first, it’s quite scary becoming a dad especially when baby isn’t inside them and can’t form the connection we do! 
Once we got past 12 weeks, he was so excited and their thoughts calm down. Try not to take it too personally- I know you’re excited and you’ve been planning! Trust he is excited too but because there is that risk stage he’ll want to get past that first. It’s very realistic of him to feel that way! Congratulations on your pregnancy!! ❤️❤️❤️

Answer

I should also mention, this is both of our first child so I’m thinking maybe he is just nervous/anxious about becoming a dad?

Answer

I feel you, my SO doesn’t talk about the baby very much so I’m hoping once he sees a sono he will start to talk more but I’m sure he will once I get further along. I feel so excited and I’ve been online window shopping but feel crazy sharing it with him. I guess I thought it would be different because his oldest is 16 and he was only 17 when he had her. But I was excited when I asked him if he was going to work tomorrow and he said I already told you no babe I am going with you to the baby doctor ❤️

Answer

Thanks guys! It really helps to know I’m not alone in this! I just thought since we had planned this pregnancy that he would have been as thrilled as I am when it happened and I thought it was really odd the way he kept saying it wasn’t “really happening” or something. I know miscarriage is a possibility but the way he is acting it seems like he is sure it will happen or something. But I’m glad I’m not the only one who has experienced this type of reaction.

Answer

Yep my husband is the same I don’t think he’ll believe it until he sees the scan (whenever that is) and he thought i’d faked the positive tests lol. Crazy

Answer

My husband is kind of the same right now we had a miscarriage at 5weeks and 5days (first pregnancy) and right now im a at 6weeks and 5 days (second pregnancy) this is my first child and he straight up told me he doesn’t want to get excited just incase... i understand but at the same time I’m warming him up to it because i mean I’m scared to honestly but i want to enjoy every moment i can because every pregnancy is different what if this pregnancy comes out good i don’t want to regret not enjoying it and just being scared sooo just hang in there men get scared aswell it is their kid too sometimes they just act different or deal with things different.

Hubby in denial?

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