Little bit of a backstory to help illustrate the situation. So I have a friend I met through my career. I’m a nanny. And when her children were younger (6&8) and she was in a really bad, controlling relationship, and I worked for them. The guy made decent money and from all fronts he seemed to meet all of their needs and they all seemed relatively happy. Until about things didn’t go his way and then he got mean. He isn’t the kids father, and I wont go into details, it was a painful time.

She ended up leaving him, and dating her now husband. They’ve been married almost 2years, and he reminds me a lot of my former boss(her ex).

1) Nothing is ever his fault, it’s everyone else’s

2) Nothing is ever good enough.

3) He spends every cent they earn on (med)marijuana and alcohol.

4)Everyone is a lazy sack of shit, except for him.

5) He’s verbally abusive toward the eldest.

Now with the stimulus that the government sent out, that money is supposed to hold everyone over, for a bit. My friend is concerned they won’t be able to get anything paid, because yesterday it was pending in their joint account. Today she called me it’s empty, and closed out and he’s supposed to be at work.

I’ve told her to leave him, many times but she won’t and keeps making lame ass excuses for his abuse. Now it is affecting those kids. And I don’t know how to help. I’d offer to take the kids for a few days. With everything going on, I don’t think it’s wise. I’ve bought her a small safe to keep money he doesn’t know of. He hawked it. And then yelled at me and my spouse for buying it and not telling him. How can I help my friend and those kids during this time?