My husband and I have been married for 4 years now and been together a total of 6.5 years. We have 2 small children.

I had to have a medical abortion at the beginning of this month and I’m still trying to heal from. I’ve been bleeding nonstop since. Not to mention emotional healing as well. We haven’t spoken about our feelings regarding the abortion since we made the decision to do so.

Meanwhile, my husband is giving me shit because we haven’t had sex in 4 days. Give me a break. Sex is the last thing on my mind and I’d like to stop bleeding so I turn him down and he gets mad about it. My doctor said I can have sex 1-2 weeks after the abortion if I feel ready.

Even after having the two kids we have I had sex at 2 weeks pp to please him. But yet he criticizes me and says I never want sex. It makes me just want to not have sex with him at all to show him how it would really feel to not have sex. I also have HSV1 and have had it since I was young from someone that was infected that kissed me. I mean I was 7 or younger. Anyways he says I never go down on him but like I’ve had a breakout for 1 week now. Does he really want herpes? I doubt it. So I snapped back and I told him to shut up and let my body heal. I’m obviously been going through it with the hormones and the stress and then him starting arguments with me constantly over trivial stuff.

I bought makeup the other day and I’m not the type to wear make up but I’m getting older and I’d like to do stuff for myself since I’ve spent the last 3-4 years being pregnant and breastfeeding or just losing my identity in becoming a mom I think I should be able to start doing self care and picking up hobbies to improve my looks and my self esteem but he takes it as a threat. It’s just powder. I can’t deal with how he’s acting. He swears I’m doing all of this to find a new husband but honestly if I’m gonna make any life change it’ll be a divorce and I’ll be single to focus on myself and the kids. I am just trying to be selfish for once so I can make myself happy and my husband isn’t having it. Idk what to do here. It’s to the point where I’m so done with his shit that even therapy won’t help because Idk if I’m willing to put in the work. I’ve put my blood sweat and tears into this relationship for 6.5 years now and this is how my marriage is gonna go? It shouldn’t be this hard when you’ve been together this long. I thought we had all the kinks worked out and I’m exhausted and I just want to be happy with or without him. I’m tired. Any advice is welcomed.