Hi all

I don't know what to do with myself right now...

When I was 12 I went through.... Some shit, for about 6 months I was molested and once raped by a family member. At the time it happened I felt disgusted with myself and hated him but other then that I was okay. Ever since I would think about it everyday and feel gross but I would be okay. Fast forward to year 12 (senior) and I was sexually harassed by class mate and all the shit came back but worse, I started to have panic attacks and thinking about it more detail of what happened and my mind went to some dark places... It's been 5 years since that and I am still like that, everyday I think about it and I just feel like shit, I tell myself I should have said no louder or screamed or told someone, I think of myself as a coward... It's been 10 years since the shit happened shouldn't I be over it? Is something wrong with me? Or am I just a weak ass who needs to toughen up? My partner is so supportive and patient but I still like imma burden... Does anyone else feel like this?