AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MAMA'S SOON EXPECTING AND THOSE WHO JUST DELIVERED

Dear Momma,

What a time in history. What a time for such chaos.  What a time for your little person to arrive…

I know this isn’t what you had in mind when you were jumping up and down with tears of unimaginable joy and excitement as you finally got that positive test after a year of negative ones. I know this isn’t the birth plan you so carefully thought through meanwhile, the people you reeeeeallllly wanted by your side aren’t going to get to play the role they equally desire for you. I know seeing your parents' faces for the first time as they hold that fresh little person was a moment you have been dreaming of long before this baby was being woven together for these long nine months.

I know this time in life was supposed to look very different from what you are experiencing now. I know that inviting a new life into the world has this crazy way of making you feel all the things at once, and the uncertainty of the world around you is robbing you of the stability you crave as so much is already changing in your world.

And.

That.

Just.

Sucks.

Whether it's your first or your fifth baby, these late pregnancy days are nothing short of pure joy, raw excitement, overwhelming exhaustion, and hesitant uncertainty. Your body looks and feels so different from what it once did, and as it and your baby prepare for delivery the sensations you experience are unknown and can be kind of scary - especially if this is your first time. Your mind travels more slowly in some ways as you settle into your home and reach the point of nesting in preparation for your baby. In other ways, it moves faster; questioning whether you have enough diapers, if the bag is packed just right,  if you’ll know when it's really time, if you’ll be able to do it. Labor is something you’ve heard is hard.. Like, really hard. Maybe labor has been difficult and traumatic with previous births and this delivery had mental hurdles to overcome long before these days came. How can you be expected to add all of this fear and anxiety to it?

After the rush of delivery,  once your baby is here, another wave a newness washes over you. It's something the books try to prepare you for, but you just have to walk the road to really know. Your amazingly strong, incredibly capable body just performed one of its most grueling tasks - it grew a new human and ushered it into the world. Your organs moved, your skin stretched, you tore, you bled, you leaked. There is no other human encounter quite like it. It’s hard, but it is astonishingly beautiful. You gave a new soul the ability to live out their God-given purpose in life and sacrificed much of yourself to do it. You find a new appreciation for those that have done this before you, and you long for that comforting reminder that you can handle all of this too. But now you feel even more isolated and alone than what many of us already do when the world is “normal” and we enter this postpartum period.

Momma, I am so sorry that this is what is happening right now. I am sorry you are being thrown into circumstances you had no way of planning for. I am sorry that these times we live in are forcing you to uproot the ideas you had for this beautiful and transformative season.

I want you to know it's okay to hate all of this. It's okay to be angry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve the loss of the way you thought this would go. It’s ok to be in those feelings, to recognize them, to let yourself process all of that and let it out. Like I said, this sucks. And even the strongest among us have been humbled in all of this. We are all grieving and trying to process something and that's okay. Afterall, we are only human and this really is a big deal.

But I also want to remind you of something…

Momma,

You.

Were.

Made.

For.

This.

You were made for this moment. You were designed with the ability to handle this. You are strong. You are smart. You are capable in ways you don't even realize yet. You are exactly who your baby needs and you guys are going to make it through this together even if it doesn't look the way you planned for or imagined it to.

In addition, you're not alone. I promise, you are not. There are many walking this uncharted road with you. There are many searching for the meaning of all of this, frustrated and feeling defeated by the circumstances we’ve been presented with. You will have stories. You will baffle those who come after you with your strength and tenacity, and you will make those who have done this before you wonder at your will to overcome. And yes, you will have a true “I climbed uphill both ways to school” mantra you will tell your grandchildren when you share when and how their parents were born. ;)

In the meantime, please know that there is help. There is support. There are so many who care and want nothing more than to empower you through this season and help you embrace the beautiful in the midst of all the hard. You can find resources for pregnancy and postpartum care by contacting Guiding Star Cedar Valley and other like-organizations. Pregnancy resource centers have also committed to creatively serving the needs of our communities as well as other countless maternal care professionals such as Bradley Method Instructors, Lactation Consultants, and Doulas that have adjusted their normalcy to love on you when you are needing it the most.

For more information on what is available to you in the Cedar Valley, please call 319-232-2695 to speak with our team at Guiding Star here locally. If you live elsewhere and would like a database of your support options, please visit guidingstarproject.org to find a Guiding Star Center near you.

And momma - please remember just how amazing you are. You can do this because you were made to.

Blessings from my heart to yours,

A Momma Who Sees You