So I’m a freshman and my bf is a junior. He’s not like the other guys, he’s super nice and doesn’t expect me to do things like most older boys. It’s my first “real” hs relationship and his too.

I’ve had a crush on him since I was in 6th grade and he was in 8th. Now that we’re finally together (almost 4 months) I’m not sure that I really wanna be with him. He said he loves me and I felt obligated to say it back to him but I don’t think I even do.

I love to fantasize about the future, meeting my soulmate, dating to marry, etc. but I know he’s not the one. It’s STILL kinda awkward between us when we hangout (we can’t really hang alone bc parents & siblings obviously) but I’ve never gotten comfortable with him. Like everyone ik who is truly in love says that they are best friends with each other and wanna hangout anytime they can. I just don’t feel the same. He wants to be with me all the time and I actually find ways to stay home for the night.

I’ve been trying to connect with God and ask him for help about what to do too. If I do decide to break up with him I’m not sure how. I absolutely hate in-person confrontation but I don’t think over text is the right thing to do to him.

Maybe it’s just bc it’s my first relationship or something, but I don’t feel the same attraction I once did before we started dating. He seriously deserves the world and an amazing girl and he’s going off to college soon. We’re both in completely different stages in life. I wanna see how it goes but I don’t wanna break his heart. I haven’t been fair to him either. I’m loyal of course, but I just don’t give him my all that I should.

Now no one has to even respond to this or anything, but I just needed to get it all out of my system. I don’t have any super close girlfriends and my parents are hard to talk to about him. My mom and stepdad love him while my dad and his girlfriend could probably care less about him.

If anyone would like to give me advice that’d be greatly appreciated though :/