My mom had a manic bipolar episode. She was yelling and screaming and I was yelling and screaming. I couldn’t handle it just as much as she couldn’t. She was diagnosed 5 years ago. Refuses medication. She will be this amazing mom for three weeks In a month and the next she is a completely different obnoxious person. I try to stay quiet but she says really hurtful

Things that make me question my existence at times like this. I asked her where her medication was and she said she’s fine and doesn’t need it and if she should hold a knife to her throat to prove it and that broke me down. She even stripped her clothes Infront of the cops and ambulance today and I cried I called the ambulance to take her to the hospital we have a lot of cases of covid-19 as much as I know she needs help o feel like I sent her to her death bed and I’m worried she will catch it. I feel guilty for sending her. I have been crying all day because I’m so scared for her. No matter what hurtful things I said today I didn’t mean any of it. I don’t know what to do