Might be OAD (one and done)... anyone else?

Question

Hubby and I had always talked about 2 kids... but we just had our first after 10 yrs of marriage. I’m 33 and he’ll be 36 next month. 
She is 4 months and has been a CHA-LLENGE... we are now both leaning towards her probably being an only for SOOO many reasons. I really “want” another, but “know” one would probably be best in the long run (mental/physical health, finances, giving experiences, bonding...). I’d hate to be “scraping by” and not provide well because “I just want another”🤔
Anyone else plan to... or is thinking about being one and done?

Answer

🙋🏻‍♀️me! Always have just wanted one. I’m an only child, lover it, and am so close with my parents. So unless there is a whoopsie our baby girl is it!

Answer

I always wanted 2 and he always wanted a lot until we had our first at 22 and 23. She was a challenge, very strong willed, we were struggling financially. By the time she turned 4ish we started trying for a second even though he didn’t want to. He decided one and done was fine. I still wanted 2. 3-4 years of 2 miscarriages and a molar pregnancy was wearing on me, and he made it clear he only wanted one anyway. One of my miscarriages was wrapped up January 9th 2019 (ended up needing a d&c). Early April I fell pregnant. (Not planned because December isn’t a good time for us to have a baby, definitely gets in the way of my work schedule since it’s the busy time of year) we had been trying so long to have a baby around this time of the year. I was skeptical that it was even going to stick so I didn’t go to the doctor until 10 weeks because previously I would have miscarried by then. My second daughter was born December 22, 2019. She has been complete opposite of my first. So much so my husband said he wouldn’t mind having another child. We have a 5k obstacle course to run this fall and he said we can try getting pregnant around then and then just have our third and be done with it. 
You certainly have to do what is right for your family, but please done let the child personality dictate that decision. I can understand finances and where you are in life, but no 2 babies are the same.😁😁

Answer

I thought I’d be done after our first baby. She came 6wks early, I had awful NICU Ptsd, it was not fun. She was also a very hard unhappy baby... unless she was eating or sleeping she was screaming bloody murder. She got up hourly at night until she was a year old. Awful baby, as much as I love her. 3yrs later, I changed my mind slowly thanks to my husbands persistence. Although I’ll never forgot how hard she was... time does soften you. I’m 35 and husband is 36 now.. and this baby is the polar opposite from our first baby. She’s generally happy, sleeps decently, is so much more chill.

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I’m not sure. I keep saying I want another and I really miss being pregnant, but I can’t imagine having another baby. I’m only 19 so I have plenty of time. For now, I’m just focused on giving my daughter all of my attention. Maybe in another 5 years or so we’ll decide to have more.

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It really bothers me when you have a baby how everyone around you will start asking you when you're going to have the next one or if you're going to have another one I think it's insane. My stomach hadn't gone back to normal and people were asking me about another baby. I was a single Teen Mom and was absolutely certain that I wasn't going to have any more children and then I met my husband when I was 23 and things changed and I wanted children with him. Now that I have 2 I'm definitely going year by year and right now I don't want a third but in the next two or three years I might and that's fine. Having one child for 12 years was definitely wonderful and quiet I didn't have the chaos that a lot of my friends did. I also went on a lot of vacations with her which were really affordable.

Answer

Yeah husband and I always said probably 2 but after having our baby boy we said maybe just one and done because we don’t want to lose out on giving him attention and scraping by financially, I have some health problems that make it hard for me to work so my husband is the sole provider and would make it very hard if we had another. We are pretty young I’m 22 and my husband will be turning 26 this year so it could change but as of now we are leaning towards one and done.

Answer

I'm going through the exact same thing. I just turned 33 and my husband Is 32. We had our first baby December 28th and he is the cutest little guy ever. But super moody and fussy all the time. I think we both are not Baby people but are doing our best and trying to enjoy the crazy phase hes in. Hes just always so up and down and throws a tantrum whever he needs something. My pregnancy was super hard and I had an even harder labor that resulted with him being in the nicu for a couple weeks after he was born. That was really really hard. Then after we brought him home the coronavirus went off and that completly changed things also. So I have to say i have always wanted more then one child but with the hard pregnancy, and the crazy labor, and the nicu experience, and the pandemic kicking off this has all been alot of change that has been quite difficult to adjust to. I think I only want one now. Husband says he wants another but he doesnt have to be pregnant so it's going to take alot.of convincing which I dont think will happen.  I'm also scared about what kind of world my kiddo is going to grow up in now and all this has been super stressful. I think with one child it might be easier to deal with the crazy situations we have been going through. We also live in california so we have quite alot of crazy wild fires every year too that mess with our lives as well. So if we stick with one I think we will be more happy and can go on more vacations and have more money when these emergencies happen. Also we can give our kid more attention if he is by himself. He can also have friends that make up for those lost siblings and he already has like 2 other babies in our neighborhood that he hangs out with and another one of my friends a little further out with her new born boy who was my husbands best friend growing up. So he will be around plenty of people his own age. I know alot of our relatives want us to have more children including my husbands best friend (me and his wife were pregnant at the same time) because our little guy is so frigging adorable and Is a character. He is also very photogenic and loves the camera. But I personally think I can only handle one.

Answer

I really thought I wanted 2, and after I had my son I was like nope just the one is fine. Then as the days went on I was like NOPE ....again...lol I want another little human I can love and yall can grow up and be close and have each other. But this past period I knew I was just pregnant I felt it, and I had a positive on first response and my period was 4 days late and I freaked out!! 2 so close was making me nervous and this first one was a challenge to us as well. Its a very hard decision because all the while I was so nervous but getting so excited but then my period came with the absolute worse cramps and I was sadder than ever and was like okay I know I want another one for sure........ But then the next day had to babysit my nephew who is only 7 weeks older than my son who is 19 weeks and omg talk about wanting to pull your hair out. Lmao I'm just kidding but no I'm in the same boat as you. I think for the time being I'm just fine with my son. After about a year and also once we can get him potty trained and out of diapers then I think that's the best time to really make that decision. My mammaw always told me don't have them to far apart but no so close there both in diapers. So I'm going to go with that and in a couple of years rethink the situation. Lol q

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ONE. 🙋🏽‍♀️. I’m an only child and I’m fine lol. I do however have single child syndrome, which is very real haha

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Give yourself space to not worry about it. Every stage of babyhood is a lot different and you might feel different when she’s older and you might not and that’s ok!

Might be OAD (one and done)... anyone else?

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