I recently went through 2 bad friendship losses and neither were my fault. the first girl had anger issues and she said she loved me, but then she dated one of my best friends and fucked with me through everything and put my other friends against me, but i was still loyal to her bc she was rly sweet at certain moments. i cut ties with her but i miss her so fucking much it hurts. i still check her instagram just bc i can’t seem to move on and it’s been a whole year and i can’t stop looking to see how she is doing. the other friendship i lost was with the girl who helped me through the first lost friendship. she also happened to date her for a while. i thought everything was good and nothing was bad and then she apparently woke up one morning and dropped me completely for her own reasons.

Now it’s like I lost my two best friends and i can’t get them back and i just want a fucking hug or for someone to understand and hear me out because everyone seems to think that i’m too perfect to have these problems. i want it all to end and have a better life but i can’t move on from either of them because i still love them to the ends of the earth because they loved me too. i hate what they have done to be and who i am because of them. they moved on and it feels like a knife whenever i see them with other people. irk how much longer i can go on like this. i have a therapist but my mind is just so fucked up i can’t explain the pain i’m going through. i feel so broken.