I don’t like it

My boyfriend is bisexual and has been with both men and women (we’ve both been tested we’re clean)

Since about January he’s been pushing me to try anal, in the beginning I let him finger my ass which was super uncomfortable and I made him stop, a couple weeks later while I was super drunk he kept telling me how much he wanted to try anal I told him to use more lube this time which he did and he eventually was able to get the tip (and a little more in) but I started crying because it was so uncomfortable. Now this seems to be the thing that happens he begs me to do anal with him, I’ll get drunk or high to do it because I absolutely hate it, he’ll lube me up but by the time he puts it in my ass I’m crying because I hate it.

He said I’d get use to it, adjust to it but I don’t like the idea of it, I hate my ass anyway and I’m very uncomfortable with the anal fingering/play because I’m scared of shitting on him and becoming the laughingstock of his jokes

He has put it all the way in and had anal sex with me but I made him stop but now he won’t stop saying how badly he wants to fuck my ass and cum in it which I keep telling him I don’t want

I don’t know what to do... any advice would be appreciated