My mom and I haven’t been close since I was about 12 but before than she was literally my best friend. A lot of stuff happened that I won’t get into over the years leading up to me turning 18 but I moved out 2 days after I turned 18. I am now 20 years old and pregnant- when I moved out my bf(at the time)(now husband) him and his family took me under their wing because of all the crap my mother put me through. My mom was furious when I moved out although I don’t know why because we never got along. Well since I moved out she has acted like nothing ever happened. Has never apologized for anything and acts like we are the best of friends. I want to have her in my life since my dad was never in my life so I’ve tried my hardest to just let everything go.

Now that I’m pregnant I know she is going to want to take the baby for a night or two or just watch him whenever and I really don’t feel comfortable with that. I’m planning on being a SAHM so I won’t really need her to watch him. I know there will be some times if my husband and I want to go out we will probably have his mom watch him because honestly I trust her way more than my own.

The main reason I don’t trust my own mother is because when I was still living at home, my older brother and his wife had a baby and my mom and I would always watch him because they had to work. But whatever my brother and his wife would ask of my mom to do (like text them before you leave the house with the baby-my mom is a terrible driver and is always on her phone when driving) (ive personally seem her text and drive with my nephew in the backseat) she would never respect their wishes to let them know when and where she would be going with him. She thought they were over dramatic and said that she raised two kids, so she knows what she’s doing.

She also cusses like no tomorrow and I just don’t want that influence around our son as he gets older. Obviously if I were around and she is cussing around him I would say something. But there is not much I can do if I’m not there.

A couple months ago she asked if I would let her be there in the delivery room and I said that my husband and I decided that we want it to be just us. (Not that I think she would be aloud in there anyways with all the covid stuff going on but this was before that)

She freaked out and started crying, through it in my face that my brother and SIL let her be in the delivery room when both my niece and nephew were born. I was very calm and nice trying to explain that this is our decision and that’s what’s going to happen.

Now as it gets closer I’m terrified of her asking to watch him alone (not that I think she would harm him) but my husband and I have already said she is not watching him by herself since she wouldn’t listen to anything we say. I know it’s just going to cause a bunch of drama because she is helping out a lot with getting stuff and helping us prepare for him and I just feel bad.

Is it wrong that I don’t want her to ever watch him?