Boyfriends mom hates me, is it “too little too late”

Sorry it’s long, I tried to shorten it as much as possible, but it’s hard to sum it all up. I’m 22 and he’s 24. We’ve been together over 2 years. I’m a huge family oriented person. I love the idea of family and that’s what I want for myself. I live at home with my mom, my dad passed away of cancer when I was little. His parents split up when he was young and his mom remarried. He lives with his parents as well. His family has a lot more money than mine.

His mom is very very controlling. And he’s definitely a “mommas boy”. She gives him a curfew, if he leaves town or he’s not home when she gets home (even in the middle of the day) she’ll call him and start asking him questions. She used to like me in the beginning of our relationship but I think she realized we were getting serious and has slowly started getting worse about us being together.

When my birthday or Christmas came around she asked what he was getting me and he said he wasn’t sure. She said “just promise me you’re not going to propose to her” And he told her he wasn’t going to propose but that he wasn’t going to never propose either. Another time they were listing off what he could get me and she said “you don’t want to get her a ring because she’ll read too much into it” she’s made several nasty comments about me to him when I’m not around. On one occasion she referred to me as ‘trailer trash’ because I live in a mobile home. What gets me about that is she lived in one too growing up. She told him he must be gay to be into me because I dress like a boy (I wear band tee’s, graphic tees, skinny jeans, converse, and Nike’s. But I have a messy job (glue) though so I’m not going to dress up to go to work and get my clothes ruined. She told him I’m unintelligent and he could find a much better girlfriend if he’d just look out of town. (I graduated high school but didn’t go to college, she didn’t go to college either, she got pregnant in high school at 16, she graduated too though) She believes he’s a Virgin. At 24. He’s been with multiple females. I was the one who was actually a virgin when we started dating. I was 20 when I lost mine and it was to him. At one point we planned on getting a house with his brother and splitting everything 3 ways but when she found out she said “I hope you don’t think ____ is moving in with you. I will throw a huge bitch fit if I find out she did.” That plan ended up not working out anyways and to be fair we weren’t that far into our relationship at that point. But she was only with her now husband 10 months before they got married and moved in together. So as grown adults I believe we should be able to do what we want if we’re going to be paying our own bills and etc.

His mom isn’t the only issue though. She’s the biggest one because it really bothers me that she doesn’t like me and is always telling him to dump me. His brother has even started doing it too. His step dad is the only one who’s ever stood up for me or doesn’t say much when they’re arguing about it.

I don’t know exactly how I feel right now. I ended up having enough and basically went to his house to break up with him a couple months ago but he broke down and begged me not too. I had pretty much given up on us because even though in the beginning of our relationship he told me over and over he wanted married and to have kids he slowly over time started to change his mind. Then he got to the point where he said he didn’t want them at all (he doesn’t want to be ‘broke’) and he just wants to have fun and ride his motorcycle. And that’s all I want is to have a family and to be married. But he told me that day when he broke down that he thought about it and that he’d rather be broke and have kids and everything with me than to be alone. After talking for a couple hours I told him I’d give him a chance but that I was keeping my guard up because I can’t put up with everything anymore. “Everything” being

•him being suspicious of me all the the time and thinking I’m cheating on him when I’ve done nothing

•his anger issues (he gets mad and yells all the time, he’ll take his anger out on me when other people make him mad) he slams my car door, and be really snappy with me

•he gets suspicious if I post selfies because he thinks I’m posting them for attention from other men (they’re not bad, no cleavage showing, fully dressed) his ex girlfriend cheated on him and it messed him up but I’ve told him he has to trust me for us to be together, I shouldn’t have to pay for her mistakes.

•he’s gotten mad and while we were arguing and on one occasion called me a “bitch” and has numerous times told me to “fuck off” those all involved me getting fed up and saying something about his anger or him yelling.

•he throws a big fit if he has to spend time with my family for holidays but I’m pretty much expected to go to his. Last thanksgiving we spent the whole day at both of his families thanksgivings and I asked if we could stop at mine in between his two, we stayed half an hour and he was already wanting to leave.

•he’s pretty decent with saving money and I’m not so he uses that as a big dig to throw at me when we’re arguing “you’re terrible with money” “you have nothing to show for your money” I have more bills than he does, his mom pays for everything including his food if he doesn’t go out to eat or buy something himself. I have to buy all my food plus I have other bills. But I ALWAYS make sure my bills are paid before I spend the rest of my money so I’m not completely terrible with money and neglecting my responsibilities, I’m just not good at saving it.

Since our conversation he’s been a lot better. He’s tried to be more loving, he stood up for me to his mom (which was basically pointless), we haven’t had any big arguments, but I can’t help but feel like it’s too little too late... I love him. But I’m starting to change. I’m starting to question whether I want to marry him one day, if I want to have kids with him, and be stuck with his moms drama for many many years to come. I don’t want to change, I want to want him like I used to but I almost feel like my trust in him is dwindling.. I trust that he wouldn’t cheat on me but I don’t know if I trust that he’ll stay better. It’s like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or waiting for the next blow up from his mom. I used to want to move in with him but now I’m in no hurry. I want to make sure I can financially support myself 100% before moving out so I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to make it on my own if things don’t work out. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to throw 2 years down the drain but I don’t want to keep dealing with his mom and if I don’t want to move out together just yet I don’t know how this is going to get better 😕