Last birthday I want while with him 😢

Rant....

This is about my boyfriend and I

Let me backtrack month ago with his bday I was on my period so he didn’t spend time with me and left after opening my gift ... expected.

Now today is my birthday ...

Asked me weeks ago what plans I had and honestly I wanted to RELAX ....

Yesterday morning he wakes me up by coming in at 5am so of course I’m tired by the end of the day and last night I went to sleep around 10:00 and he kept waking me up until about 11:40 meanwhile I’m saying I’m sleepy my back hurts bad (chronic scoliosis) all while I just want to rest ... 12 hits loud ass music blaring for 20 mins I’m just sad at this point .. not mad sad cause I’m sooo exhausted after the birthday party (he didn’t attend).... so he wakes me up 7 am this am after all that and I say I kinda just want to restart .. get some more sleep ... and he leaves ... again ... reps me he’s bringing me food in 30 mins be ready so I am ... 4 hours later he comes and starts yelling at me because I’m not ecstatic just chillin calm as hell while he’s listing off stuff that he likes and wants to do for my birthday like... eat seafood I can’t stomach just because he says it’ll Be better for me ... or play video games because I don’t play with him ... I’m sorry but as I recall you didn’t even want to be around me and said you deserve to be selfish on your day ... mf I just want to sleep and all of a sudden you’re yelling at me for not being happy enough about doing what YOU want to do ... (mind y’all I never said I wouldn’t do none of this I just wasn’t happy enough)

Ok rant over .. every time I post my rants about our arguments y’all ask me why I’m still with him ... at this point ... I’m brainwashed by his idea that I just need him to fix me, my fault for not being obedient enough . Idk what to do I love him