I mean yes, I knew things would change, but I guess not to this extent.

My husband and I have been married about 3 years. The first year was great, and in the second year I got pregnant and had my daughter. Immediately after having her things obviously weren’t the same since I was recovering and our total time and energy was going towards taking care of a newborn. I found myself quickly snapping at him from time to time (more than usual) but again, we were first time parents and newborns are stressful!

We had sex again at 12 weeks postpartum. I couldn’t imagine doing it earlier than that. It wasn’t good. But I figured that things would get better. Fast forward to now, 8 months postpartum and we have sex about once a month. Its gotten better but it’s more like 5-10 minutes of “let’s get to an orgasm” and that’s it. We rarely cuddle. Little to no foreplay. He also just doesn’t initiate it. It’s almost like it needs to be planned. We went on a couple of date nights after my baby was born but recently that hasn’t happened given everything with covid and stay at home orders. I find myself snapping at him more and more. It’s not even that I’m sexually frustrated, it’s more like I just miss the intimacy and romance. When I snap, he just doesn’t talk to me and says I’m not being respectful to him (which is fair I’m not) but then I have to apologize until he finally talks to me again. And then he never wants to talk about the underlying issue.

He doesn’t seem to get it. Again, it’s not just about the sex but the overall lack of intimacy. I want to be desired again. I miss the early days but I never thought that 3 years into the marriage we would already be at this point.

Can anyone relate? Is this normal? What do I do?