11DPO BFN AM I OUT ?

So I broke down and tested when I knew it would be negative it was so horrible I just feel so depressed I know for a fact this is the worse I ever cried because I just knew it would at least be a faint line and I just couldn’t stop crying I cried for a good hour because I want this so bad and I feel like something is wrong with me and I can’t confirm if it is or isn’t because I can’t get a appointment because of covid-19 ( my doctor said they won’t start regular appointments back up until June or July ) . I honestly want to give up .