I just wanted to share/vent. I'm feeling a bit suicidal- I should specify passive SI. I just don't want to exist but I also don't want to die. This creates insane cravings to use heroin again because it was not living, but not dying.

I know the trigger, I do this really want to discuss it on the internet because its a relationship issue where everyone will just say "leave them". I just am riding the wave and just needed to get off my chest somewhere that I'm craving and passively suicidal