I feel like he wants me unhappy...

My husband is a gamer. Off and on. When he finds a game he really likes, he zones in and can. Play for hours at a time. I will admit, in the past it has annoyed me and I have complained and requested he make some time for me as well.

I have never had many hobbies. My husband criticizes everything i enjoy. Jigsaw puzzles take up too much space. Reality TV is trashy. Social media is for dumb millennials. Anything that brings me relaxation is stupid.

So, two weeks ago he bought me Animal Crossing. He said he thought I would like it. Well, I do. For the past two weeks I have played from 7:30-9:30, after my daughter goes to sleep. I never play while she is awake. Recently I have been playing less because I am also reading a book I enjoy.

My husband got upset because he feels I ignore him when I play the game or read. I try not to, but I am less engaged while doing these activities. I should probably say, “let me get to a good stopping point.” And then have a genuine conversation with him. That’s on me, and I admit it. Instead, I try to keep doing both, and neither gets my full attention. I can understand his frustration.

This morning I apologized and he was rude about it. He said I don’t know how to enjoy anything in moderation. The truth is, I play the game 2 hours a night and I look forward to it. It brings me joy. I have asked if he wanted to watch a movie or something some nights, and he doesn’t. After I take care of a baby all day, clean, cook, clean up, and shower, I am exhausted.

So, he asked me what I want the weekend to look like. But he doesn’t ask in a kind way, he says, “What do you want to do this weekend?...Animal Crossing all day all the time?” I told him I would like to spend time as a family, maybe play animal crossing, read my book some, etc. He got upset. Told me to just do whatever I wanted. I asked him what he would want the weekend to look like. He wouldn’t tell me.

So about a week ago, he asked me if I would want to play D&D with him. He said it might be something fun we could do together. I have never wanted to play, but he loves it, and doesn’t currently have a group. I agreed to it, because I like spending time with him. He then brings me three large books. Starts telling me to pick a class and race. Tells me I need to create some kind of backstory, name my character,etc. It felt like a lot of pressure. He said I could do it whenever. He kept bringing it up all week, so slowly I started working on it.

When we argued this morning I knew what he actually wanted to hear was I wanted to play D&D. Which is fine, but why couldn’t he just say it? I just feel a lot of pressure. He loves playing, and I don’t know how. He gets easily frustrated with me. I worry I won’t be good or won’t like it and he will be mad.

I feel like he doesn’t give my hobbies a chance, or even respect. Yet, he expects me to love everything he enjoys. He runs an online comic shop. All day long he talks my ear off about comics. I don’t care about comics, but I try to. I help him look over comics for grading, etc. But he starts tapping for like 30 mins at a time about the 9.8 vs the 9.4 and getting it signed and graded and the profit possibilities,etc. It’s too much. That’s all he ever talks about. I do my best, but it’s never enough.

I know this is long. I know I am not perfect in this scenario, but I am frustrated. I am just an exhausted mom doing her best.