Im just tired. I'm tired of seeing only one line on my pregnancy tests. I'm tired of feeling like this is never going to happen for us. I'm tired of seeing others around me fall pregnant, some without trying or by accident. I'm tired of my family asking when the next little one is coming. Im tired of our friends asking when the next one is coming. I'm tired of my husband not fully understanding my frustrations when it comes to trying to have a baby. I'm tired of seeing pregnancy announcements on social media. I'm tired of feeling like I'm letting my son down by not giving him a sibling. I'm tired of letting my husband down by not providing him with another child. I'm tired of this process. I'm just tired. Don't they say that after you have your first child, it should be easy to get pregnant? I will never in my life say this to another woman again. Because I'm living proof that statement is false. I REALLY thought this was my month. I'm almost two weeks late and still havent started my period. I thought I was seeing faint lines on my pregnancy tests, but I'm starting to think it was just the indent line playing tricks with me. Guys, I've taken over 30 tests this cycle because I thought this was it after missing my period and feeling weird. Obsessing over this has taken its toll on me. I'm stressed to the max. Im exhausted due to getting no sleep because I was too excited to take another test in the morning. I'm lashing out at my husband more than I usually do. After a year and 9 months of trying, I just dont know how many more negative tests I can take. I'm NOT religious by any means, but I find myself wondering about that path more and more. This weight on my shoulders from feeling like I HAVE to make this happen is becoming too much. I feel like giving up, because this just doesn't seem possible for me. I want a second child so badly, but i feel like it's not going to happen. I just needed to vent. If you stuck around this long, thank you. 😔