Mind wandering during sex?

Question

I can be super horny and then once my husband and I get down to it, it’s like I lose focus. I’ll get super horny and wet, then one little thing, like me noticing something across the room, throws me all off and I like lose my horniness lol. 
It’s soooo frustrating and it makes my husband feel like he’s doing something wrong, when it’s really my own head! 
What can I do?

Answer

It can be tough sometimes to stay in the game with those things floating into your head. I’ve had a similar experience for a couple months and found it so frustrating that it became cyclical and after a while, I began worrying about it before it even started happening... try to avoid my mistake. Here are a handful of suggestions for different situations:
Try to recognize what kinds of triggers are distracting you. If they’re visual, maybe get a little kinky and try playing with a blindfold; then there’s nothing for you to focus on except the sensations of your lover’s touch.
If you start thinking of tasks you have to get done, perhaps it could help to keep a pen and paper close by to throw the idea down and leave it in the paper to return to after the session. It WILL get done, but for now, you and your man deserve time to connect, for your mental, emotional, and physical health.
If you get in your head about the same thing from the past or there is a pattern of the things that trigger this, there may be some topics you need to work through emotionally. 
If the things popping in your head are about wishing your man would do more to you, have an open conversation about one or two things you might like to try. Talking openly about sex isn’t something a lot of sexual couples do, but if you know more about your partner’s desires, the better lover you can be for your partner and the more your partner can please you. Win-win all around!
Find out something he wants to try or something you want to do to him with the intention of giving him the BEST sex of his life. Making your partner feel amazing is a huge turn on. You’re already feeling frisky going in, but going in with that goal and watching your mans pleasure build from your own two hands (or any other part of your sexy body 😉) will be more likely to keep your attention. Focusing on his pleasures, especially if you’re trying something you haven’t done before, will demand a bit more brain power and hopefully keep intruding thoughts at bay.
 
Beyond that, I suggest finding different ways to practice mindfulness and being in the moment. The more you practice, the easier it gets to stay in the moment; which means during sex you can enjoy every physical sense heightened by such a strong mental focus, and push out intruding thoughts. There are innumerable benefits to developing this skill in managing stress (and one of them is even better sex 🤤😏)
Speaking of which, despite it being called a “physical” act of love, sex is actually mostly driven by the brain. When we are stressed, it can be difficult to focus on the things we love. Even if you don’t suspect the main cause is stress, it could still be beneficial to take a mental tally of the things in life that cause you the most stress and find ways to cope with/mitigate/reduce those triggers.
Maybe only one or two of the above suggestions will apply to you, but I hope you find some relief from the wandering mind soon and you two can get back to lovin and pleasing each other! 😘 feel free to reach out if you want!

Answer

I sometimes get songs stuck in my head that are usually really inappropriate to the moment, so sometimes I’ll just turn on white noise to drown out any of those intrusive thoughts or songs!

Mind wandering during sex?

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