So my partner and I are set for a July retrieval/Sept transfer. I am a painfully private person, but my partner has to share, for him keeping things secret is stressful. So we talked and decided he would share our plans with his parents, who are sworn to stay quiet, as they respect our feelings. This way he can share his feelings and journey.

I am torn. I sometimes contemplate telling my bestest girlfriend who may ask questions, but never judges me. Or possibly my sister, who is like a mother to me, who probably knows more than anyone. But I cant do it. I feel like they will ask, is this what i really want? And yes it is, but its complicated.

I see this as my last shot, if I can have a child, this is it. If I wait, it will never happen for me. But, at the same time, i perpetually have one foot out the door, so to speak. I do not love where we live. Im here due to circumstances, and plan to relocate as soon as the situation allows. That place is over 1000 miles away, and while my partner does want to move w me one day, he is no where near ready. His ties to his parents are strong and i honestly dont know if he can/will do it when the time comes. I could literally drop everything and go today, and be happy, and not look back. My only regret would be no children, and can i live with that?

So my close ladies i would confide in also know how I feel about getting out of here. How will they take my decision to spend nearly 20k on <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> when Im not, in my head, emotionally tied to this life with my partner. I feel like I have to hide our attempts to start a beautiful family.

See, I dont believe having a family will change my plan to move back to happiness, but most likely delay it a while, which I would be happy with!!!

So should I carry this burden myself, or share with my support ladies? Many of you have been through this journey and can speak to how you handled it!

Looking forward to reading your perspectives!!