Idk why this aggravates me so much..

This is a rant. I don’t have anyone that I am comfortable talking about this stuff with...

I had my baby boy 6 months ago via c-section. I made it through 37 weeks and 4 days of pregnancy with only getting 3 small stretch marks. Then I was suddenly put in the hospital for low fluid. I got 5 bags of fluids in the hospital which made me balloon up and bam, I get some nice long purple stretch marks over night. I’m super self conscious about my body now even though I’m back to pre-pregnancy weight. I feel like a tank. Since having my baby, my husband and I have only had sex twice. That doesn’t exactly help the mental struggle and self consciousness. Tonight I go into our bathroom to put my hair up and my husband was supposed to be getting ready to shower. As I’m putting my hair up, he opens the toilet room door (our toilet is in its own separate room inside our bathroom) and sees me putting my hair up and quickly closes the door. After a minute or so he comes out and he’s obviously been masturbating by the look of his dick still being partially erect and red. I made a little joke to ease the awkward moment by saying “someone’s been playing with his wiener”. He just flat out denies it and walks past me to shower. I could care less if he masturbates. If could get some alone time, I’d do it too! Idk why I feel hurt by this but it stings. He always denies that he masturbates and claims he doesn’t watch porn. Is he not attracted to me anymore? Who’s he masturbating to? Is he cheating on me? Gah I hate the mental game of postpartum...