Husband smoking weed with best friend during covid 19. I’m concerned ..should i be?

Question

Hi . So i need advice please. This post is not for people who want to be judgey about those who smoke weed. It’s legal. 
Moving on.. 
My husband and i used to smoke weed together before i got pregnant now we can’t obviously because I’m pregnant. I know he misses doing that with me . My best friend smokes weed a lot. Her husband stopped smoking some time ago . It’s freaking covid 19. So we have been quarantined. Yesterday my bff came over with her daughter to help me while my husband was at work. And also our two daughters are close in age and missed each other so they played together. She kept asking me what time was he going to be home :? Initially it seemed like she wanted to make a mad dash out of there before he arrived back home. But then she waited until he got home. He cane in gave me a kiss (weird moment idk why but i felt like ..idk she felt uncomfortable about that or something idk weird feeling moment). Anyway, she goes talks to him in kitchen..and starts rolling up a blunt immediately. Now I’ve already told my husband that i really don’t want him passing the joint or the blunt with her or anyone at this time. Just in case the opportunity was to present itself, he was not to do it due to covid 19. We agreed on this. And what do they go out back and do together . The go smoke together. Initially I saw him roll up his own joint and go but when i came out there to check on them i saw them passing the joint back and forth. I was livid. Also i feel like smoking weed with the opposite sex can be an intimate act . But that’s just me. Why would my best friend wait around for my husband to get home to smoke with Him . I don’t know. And why he thot it was ok to break our agreement about smoking is even more concerning. I’m a bit of a hot head and tend to not trust people . So i need some advice about this , maybe how to approach it . I really don’t want to talk to her about it bc she has been trying to help plan a shower for me and supportive but don’t f with me family or health .

Answer

I understand that you’re annoyed that they shared the spliff between them when he said he wouldn’t share one due to covid 19. And please don’t take this as a criticism as I understand that you’re angry, but you let your kids play together so they are as much at risk of passing the virus as your husband and BFF passing a spliff between each other. Maybe just have a calm word with your husband to say you aren’t happy that he did it and ask that he doesn’t do it again. It’s not like he went and hid it from you, he was out that back of your house. He probably got excited at being able to have a smoke and being a bloke just forgot the agreement that you made or thought it wouldn’t be an issue because she’s your BFF.

Answer

The fact she didn't mention it to you is strange, the fact he did it knowing you didn't want him to is rude but... in terms of exposure, you already had her in your home so you're all exposed regardless of them smoking together.

Answer

I don’t see it as an intimate thing, so I wouldn’t care. I can see your point on germs, but you also had her and her child in your home for how long? I mean, you already exposed yourself if they had anything. The only issue I see here is that you and your husband made an agreement and he broke it.

Answer

Nobody likes to toke alone.
Your kids were playing, germs are germs.
Just a little hormones, maybe jealousy cuz you cant toke? 
I wouldn't be worried 😊

Answer

I’m 420 friendly, my husband smokes, I don’t. 
I’ve never thought of smoking as an intimate thing, so I can’t relate on that part. But as for her, I can relate to not wanting to have a drink alone and wanted to have one with someone else and you can’t drink right now. 
I would focus on the sharing of germs for argument sake with your husband. Even though if your playing that card, you did have her over on the first place. 
I guess tred lightly and be careful not to let your hormones get the best of you. Focus on that your husband deliberately did something you two previously discussed

Answer

Sharing a blunt isn't intimate. But it's definitely risky if you're worried about COVID. But so is having her over to your house unless you only visit outside, at least 6 feet apart. 
If she and her family have been isolating, and you and your family have been isolating, then maybe the benefits of getting together outweigh the risk. If your husband works around people, he is likely putting her at greater risk. 
Either way, boundaries were crossed. A discussion about your feelings and expectations and his viewpoints is warranted. 
I know it's difficult to have 2 people in the same house with different views about precautions to stay safe and healthy. It's probably best to err on the side of the most cautious approach. It doesn't help that there's still so much we don't know about this virus and the guidelines seem to change daily.

Answer

I was about to say that it wasn’t a big deal because my husband had a few beers in our garage with his best friend last weekend. His buddy is a doctor so they were super careful about keeping distance from one another and he wouldn’t come inside our actual house at all. 
BUT after reading the whole story I would be pretty annoyed. They should not be sharing one joint between them at the moment! Also, I agree, I wouldn’t be keen on my husband drinking/smoking alone with a female, mutual friend or not... it’s a bit inappropriate in my opinion.

Answer

yeah i’d be pissed. i got a wrong feeling from it as i read this. my fiancé’s friend tried to get him to do this with his girlfriend when i initially told my fiancé that i’d prefer him to only do this with me. i wasn’t a happy person.

Answer

I wouldn't be happy at all, first off no one should be breaking quarantine.  Second, I wouldn't want my husband smoking at all around me if I was pregnant, third, your husband obviously is disrespecting you and putting you at risk
Id have a SERIOUS talk with him

Husband smoking weed with best friend during covid 19. I’m concerned ..should i be?

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