I want another baby but husband doesn’t

I desperately want a third child. I absolutely love being a mom. Nothing in this world makes me feel more happy or complete than taking care of and spending time with my children and husband. My husband 100% does not want any more children though.

A little background: my husband was married previously and has 2 children from that marriage. The relationship with them has been complicated the past 2 years due to their mother not sending them during their time (and lawyers and courts basically told us there’s nothing they can do because they are now 12 and 15).

Our first child was born at 24 weeks. He’s 6 and doing phenomenally well, but obviously having a baby that early was very difficult and scary for us. Our second child was also premature (34 weeks) and has had no effects from his early arrival, but it’s now clear that I’m predisposed to having preemies which obviously presents a challenge and concerns as well.

I know my husband is scared of having another preemie (as am I). I also think that the situation with his daughters has him feeling a certain way. And with 4 kids, he’s literally been raising kids since he was 21 and I’m guessing he wants a break from having babies around.

But I can’t shake this feeling that I want one more and I’m 36, so I feel like I’m running out of time (especially considering I’m already high risk). I don’t even want to bring it up to him because I know how he feels, but I feel like I’m also just ignoring my own emotions. Has anyone else been through this? I feel like I’m the only one but I know I can’t be, right? Do I just suppress how I feel and surrender to the fact that it’s just not meant to be? Or will I regret not even trying? I’ve just been bummed about the situation lately and now I have a sister in law who just announced her third pregnancy and it really drove it home for me. Thanks for any input and if you made it this far in my very long post!