30 and doesn’t understand a clit?

So my boyfriend is 30. We’ve been together a year and he’s never been able to give me an orgasm. This is due to me needing clitoral simulation to get off.

I’ve explained this to him quite a few times and we’ve tried to add toys into the bedroom but he would always make it weird or not follow what was explained to him. He would take a vibe and immediately try to put it on top speed, make odd comments about it, somehow always get in the way of when I would hold it or just make it far to unsexy with his weirded outness for me to be in the mood.

Once he had accidentally knocked me in the teeth with my own knee during sex and it turned me off a bit so I tried to rub my own during the sex to silently try to get back into the mood and he then held my hands above my head preventing it. When I later asked about it he basically said he didn’t understand what I was doing.

Recently I mentioned to him again that im a little tired of the one sided sex and suggested that we do something after sex just for me instead. I explained again in detail what I need but instead he has been trying to finger me after sex as if that’ll do anything.

After a couple attempts of that, he admitted he doesn’t understand what a clit is.

How do you explain it to a 30 year old man? How does he not know? I feel like I’ve been clear with what i want but I think he just tries to avoid that part of the vagina at all costs. I’m not sure what’s hard to understand about it.