I’m 5 months pregnant w my second and have a three year old w asthma so we have been staying home since March 17th. In total, besides doc appts, I have taken exactly two trips to target. Everything else we get curbside or delivered. We are doing everything to keep safe from the virus.

That said, I’m in a hole mentally. Of course I have good days and bad days. I even had a good week once a couple weeks ago where I adjusted my mindset and it was working. But some family drama happened and now the riots and I. Just. Can’t.

My toddler is bored AF and needs me to be “on” all the time so I can play with him and I feel like such a shit bc most of the time I just don’t have it. I probably have 30 mins a day to give him decent play time but after that I’m either trying to redirect him to something else while I try to do something housework related (exhausting and some days it just doesn’t work) or I give up and put on the TV and we both just zone out.

My husband suggested I talk to a therapist it I do not have childcare and he’s not offered to make time in his schedule to take over the kiddo and he works full time from home and can be flexible to a degree but not really. When clients need to meet or his boss wants to talk he needs to.

I just feel like I’m not the mom I ever wanted to be. I wasn’t this way before the pandemic and I don’t know what to do to make it through until there is a vaccine which could be a really long time. I am dreading having a newborn and a toddler at home all day in the fall. I was going to be sending my son to preschool but how can I have him bringing home the virus to a newborn?

What am I going to do?

EDIT: we do go outside and walk and he has a playground in our huge backyard. He just misses other kids so much that he’s also not interested in playing solo.