I’ve always dreamed of being a mom and having my baby is a dream come true for sure. I waited for the right time to have her, I’m married, financially stable, established career, had time to travel and party etc etc. We also had to go through fertility treatments so my baby is the biggest most wanted blessing in my life.

This being said my relationship has suffered so much since we became parents. I love my husband and he is a great person and loves both of us dearly, but I feel as though his life hasn’t changed one bit since having our child.

He works a lot which I understand especially since he has his own business, but I feel he fails to make us a priority. His work always comes first. And second. We come last. To top it off I end up doing 95% of the parenting and housework (if not more) while working part time. During lockdown I had to suck it up and do all this AND work from home with almost no help from him at all. He wanted me to be understanding and supportive since it was a tough time for him, yet he failed to do the same.

Now he’s back at the office so it’s even harder for me. We barely see him anymore. I’m feeling so lonely and overwhelmed. Then on the weekend he is tired (and also works sometimes) and wants to catch up with his friends so is always on the phone!?!? I end up doing everything myself and spending most of my time alone with my daughter. He only helps with grocery shopping and thinks he deserves a trophy for doing that.

I’m feeling lonely and I’m exhausted. I love him but this is not the life I wanted for myself. I even feel guilty writing this as I love my daughter more than life itself but sometimes I need a break too. Just so I can be a better mom and a better person in general. She’s going back to daycare Wednesday and I wish I could keep her home but even though I still have a week before going back to work I need a break. I need a break so I can feel human again. So I can work and do laundry in peace.

I’m feeling so lonely and so down. I sometimes catch myself comparing my mariage to some of my friends’ and I feel jealous they have a partner to share so much with. I also always wanted to have two or three children but I don’t feel it’s the right time to have a second baby with my husband. It might not be anytime soon. This breaks my heart as I’m already 33 and it took us a couple of years to conceive my daughter.

We both want to do couple’s therapy once the coronavirus situation gets better so I’m hoping this will help us communicate better and find ways to compromise and change the way things are.

Anyway, I’m sorry for the long rant. I’m just feeling particularly down today 💔