My childhood sweetheart & i broke up

We met 12 years ago in elementary school and have been in love ever since. Throughout middle school high school and college we were convinced we were made for each other. We had our first kisses together and went to prom together. Neither of us ever dated anyone else and never really liked anyone else. We were sure we’d get married and we always talked about our futures together. We said we’d get engaged soon and married next year.

But over time i don’t know what happened we just weren’t happy anymore. It was like we tried to be but deep down we knew we weren’t. It seemed as if the fact that we were in love for so long was what was keeping us together. That and the fact that we thought we were made for each other. Recently it just seemed like we were forcing our relationship when neither one of us was really happy. I still love him and he still loves me but we finally decided that we couldn’t keep doing this and that it wasn’t healthy. We knew we couldn’t get married like this and we ended our relationship. I don’t know what’ll happen in the future maybe we’ll find out ways back to one another or maybe we’ll meet other people. I don’t hate him and I’m not mad. I’m sad of course but i know it had to be done.

I’ve never gone through a breakup before. Now i know coming soon will be the people who think we’re still together asking me about him and me having to say we’re not together, me having to delete all of our pictures, and so on. It hasnt hit me yet but I’m sure I’ll start crying in the middle of the night or something.

It hurts it really does but at the same time it feels so relieving. I feel like i don’t have to pretend to be happy anymore and neither does he. I feel like i can come home from work and do nothing all day and not have to get up and go out to see him. I can read my books all day and not have to text him. I won’t have to deal with any of that anymore.

I still love him and i always will at least a little bit. Maybe it’s because this is my first time going through a breakup and that’s why my feelings are still there. But i learned i can’t just be with someone bc i love him when i can’t actually see a future with them

💔