Hi ladies,

I just turned 32 and my husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. We have been discussing kids for years but everytime it comes down to it I get so scared. I feel terrified of being pregnant. Aside from labor I am so afraid of miscarriages and the thought of having any kind of medical intervention with that or bleeding badly (there were times I thought maybe I could be pregnant and I was so afraid of miscarrying I’d keep checking between my legs for blood, that’s how bad I’m afraid of it). I keep imagining just really scary things. I have pretty bad health anxiety generally but do not take medication. The medication that was suggested to me is not exactly safe for pregnancy and the other kind that is more or less safe is not effective for me based on what the doctor told me. I should also mention that I am struggling figuring out what I want to do with my life in terms of career. I feel super unmotivated but do feel family for me takes priority and I do feel excited doing things with a little one. Not having a job currently or a career I like doesn’t really help with the situation of making me feel better. I don’t see myself finding the career I love anytime soon. I’ve been putting off pregnancy for several years now to find something I like to do but I have not made much progress toward that. At this point I’m just worried that I’ll miss my fertility window if I wait any longer. Can anyone give me some kind of reassurance or peace of mind. I really worry I will miss out on having kids because I cannot get over these fears. Is anyone in the same boat? Please tell me something positive.