Skating swiftly down the imperfect & troublesome, worn down road was an intelligent, strong, humorous, confident, special and kind-hearted kid, to say the least. Catherine was a 14 year old girl ready the face the world with her smile of pure happiness she found within herself. In a few months, she will start high-school. She is excited for the future. She felt like nothing can bring her down or break her. The sun was shining.

In another few months time, she found herself researching anorexia on her pink iPhone. When she faced that screen, she had already faced her reality. She knew she had a eating disorder. Her mental health had recently been declining at a scary rate. In the back of her mind, she knew things were going to get unbearable. She couldn’t stop it either. She controlled her mental illness to the best of her ability, as she was aware of it. She was also aware of her traumatic childhood, and loss of loved one, which resulted in deep, yearly depression, that never seemed to ever go away. All cold & dark. Nether-less, she saved her sanity to the best of her ability, for her being smart was quite obvious since she was a little girl.

I wish I could say what happened next is a real plot twister, but it’s not. 15 years old, in the middle of her freshmen year, she found herself sniffing Xanax, already weighing less than 80 pounds. The months on starvation have token a toll and it shows, but she’s helplessly trying to live “the best years of her life”, pretending like everything’s okay for her friends and for the sake of having a somewhat normal life, like she’s been used to. But reality is has already knocking at her door for quite some time, and what’s done is done.

I’m not going to go too deep into detail, but there was a lot of pain. The girl saved her life. She made herself eat. The school year ended, and she came out a survivor. But, she’s been consistently doing drugs.

To start off, 13 years old, mentally ill. And it would’ve killed her. Numerous years of depression & anorexic. shes a suicide survivor. And drugs were her way out. Something saved her life. Circumstances changed, and she stopped trying to kill herself with cocaine.

“Cat.” Is now a young women at the age of 18. She wants to live now. And she’s not perfect, she messes up sometimes but I just want her to know I love her, she’s my life.