1st time dating after a divorce with kids

Ok I’ve posted a little before about this but the guy I’m dating and I had a huge conversation. I feel like he’s being honest with me but I can’t tell if he’s just giving me the run around. I have 2 kids. 5 and 2. Been divorced for a year and a half. We started talking 8 months ago. We STILL aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend. We only see each other once a week cuz he’s so busy with work. I haven’t met his family even though he lives with them. I’ve been to his house but his parents are asleep when I come over. So I know he’s not married or anything. And I’m pretty much 100% sure I’m the only girl hes talking to. We’ve had the “exclusive” talk. Now here’s what bothers me. The bf/gf thing. He says, right now, as in today, he can’t take on 2 kids. Financially, physically, emotionally, etc. So he doesn’t want to be my bf until he is at a place where he knows he can take on the kids. He feels like if he’s my bf, the kids need to be much more involved in our relationship than they are now. So to him, bf/gf means things are very serious between us is what it sounds like. I can’t figure out if hes just using it as an excuse or what? He’s great with kids. He’ll ask about my kids every other day or so. We’ve done things together maybe 4x in 8 months cuz I don’t want my kids attached if he’s not committed. They only know him as my friend. We don’t hold hands or kiss in front of them or anything like that. Anyways, this is my first relationship post divorce and I’m just so confused. Am I doing wrong by my kids but dating someone who can’t accept them right now? Or is that just an excuse and he’ll never accept them and ultimately break up over them? I’m not sure how long is a normal amount of time to date a person and then accept kids that are not their own. I’ve tried to explain to him by dating me right now does not mean he has to take on the roll of dad right now. But he feels it does. Any advice or insight?