What would you do?

Question

So my husbands brother in law hates me. I’ve been the only one to stand up to him. Everyone for some reason is scared to make him mad. Long story short he called me poor on Facebook because I don’t have my own boat and he has 2 for his family and I didn’t take to that to kindly. Whole thing is stupid petty. I’ve been over it and tried to be civil but to him I don’t exist. Me and my sister in law use to be really close and she knows her husband is in he wrong but it’s her husband. Anyway. If I’m not welcome at their house my kids aren’t either. That’s what I have decided. Last 8 months she cancels all our plans last minute or doesn’t even bother to pick up the phone to cancel. She basically pushed me away. Their, my husband and SIL parents are coming down and she has the AUDACITY to want to see my kids after months and have them come over with their parents. My answer isn’t just no it’s fuck no. If they weren’t worth it to her before so why now? Her and my kids use to be close but since she made her choice they haven’t seen each other in a while. I don’t know if I’m just using my resentment and hurt as an excuse but I just don’t know if I’m being selfish or doing the right thing.

Answer

It's a bit selfish to get the kids involved in the arguments. Their still family and whatever you feel towards each other shouldn't affect the kids. I would let the kids go and visit. Saying no seems a bit petty to me

Answer

If the parents don’t have a relationship with someone, the kids shouldn’t either. She can see the kids when she wants to reach out and genuinely mend fences with you!

Answer

If I'm not welcome or my boyfriend isn't welcome, neither are MY kids. If they are already petty af, who knows what they'll whisper in your kids ear when you can't hear it. My mother and my boyfriend's father aren't even allowed to say our kids are their grandkids. My boyfriend's father left when he was little and tried to come back after we had our daughter. My mother stopped speaking to me when I was teenager because I told her husband that she stole my birthday money ($300 "for bills") but she used it all on alcohol. And yet when I had my daughter, she wants to pretend she's grandma and ask to babysit. Neither of them have, or ever will meet my kids. People can say it's selfish or whatever, but these people didn't give a damn when we were homeless and asking for a place to stay. They didn't give a damn when I was pregnant with preeclampsia and hyperemesis. They didn't give a damn when I was hospitalized for both. They didn't give damn that my liver and kidneys were failing and I had to have an emergency C-section. But when that beautiful little girls picture was posted on social media, "what's your address so I can send you money?" "When can I meet her?" "I'll babysit if you need me." 
Bottom line, it's YOUR family. They are YOUR kids. That makes it YOUR responsibility to keep negative influences out.

Answer

Ok so she’s reaching out to bridge a gap and you’re using your resentment not to...so you’re not “over it”

Answer

Block and ignore him

Answer

I’m sorry but if she precisely asks your kids to go there with your in laws then I wouldn’t send them there, because she’s not trying to build a relationship with you again she’s just trying to be rude, if someone wants to build a relationship with you again will swallow their pride and call you and invite all of you.

Answer

You're not wrong. If you arent welcome neither are ya kids. Packaged deal.

What would you do?

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