My in-laws have the weirdest expectations. More specifically, my father in law and my husband’s step mom. I love them, I do, but hear me out.

Previous situation:

November 2018 they pitch in to throw a gender reveal party for us and buy some gifts. We thank them profusely and the party and throughout the visit, April 2019, they come visit after my daughter’s birth. They ask me why they never received a thank you card. I was appalled. We had thanked them sooo much in person, I didn’t think it was necessary. I apologized and explained things had been hectic. They insist they receive one. I offer to write one for them right then. They tell me I have to mail it. It was crazy.

Fast forward:

Yesterday I texted some baby pics to my husband’s step mom, as I do periodically, since they don’t see her often. She texts me back a picture of her holding a flower bouquet in the shape of a cake and says, “A birthday cake I can enjoy without gaining any weight.” I then realized I had apparently missed her birthday, and this was her subtle hint. I apologize and wish her a belated birthday and asked about her day.

Apparently that wasn’t good enough. Today my husband told me I had to call her and wish her a happy birthday. His dad had been harassing him about the fact I hadn’t called her on her birthday. Please keep in mind, they didn’t call me on my birthday, and I didn’t expect them to and I didn’t care. They did end up sending me a card a month and a half later, with a check, which was very kind.

I called, even though it pissed me off I was being FORCED to do so. I wished her a belated birthday once again. She went on to say how it was a great day and she got a lot of calls and texts, but she kept expecting one from us and it never came. I apologized and told her I would take note of her birthday so I never miss it again.

My husband doesn’t call my parents and wish them a happy birthday. And they don’t harass him. I absolutely hate that they force me to conform to whatever weird etiquette they swear has to be honored. Like, doesn’t that take away the entire meaning?? 🤦‍♀️