This is NOT ok.

I dont truly know if I'll ever have the chance to become a mother. I am 36, experienced 2 miscarriages in my marriage, that I am no longer in. I have been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half, he has 2 kids from a previous relationship. I have stepped up and taken the role as step mom, and I love them dearly. But I still want to experience growing life inside of me, and having a part of me that's mine. The problem is that sex is very limited, and it's usually only 3-4 times a month. And it's almost never around ovulation time. My boyfriend has a low sex drive, and because of this, I have stopped initiating sex. I basically just have sex whenever he feels up to it. It has made me incredibly sad. I love him, we have a great relationship, but it really feels like I'll never get what I want out of life. My entire life I've been selfless, and always put everybody else first. I just dont know what to do, and I'm getting older. I would appreciate any advice, and must say that if anyone says I just need to talk to my boyfriend, I've tried. He doesnt see sex as being an importance, and says I'm the opposite. He blames this on me being abused as a kid. It's a battle I'll never win.

Lost, sad. Idk anymore...