So me and my boyfriend have been together for four years (we separated like twice). Every time I broke up with him was because he was going behind my back and going on dating sites. Anyway, he would be the one to try to get back together and since I really love him, I agree and try. I never really thought there was an issue between me and his family because when they needed me to do things for them, I would do it. I know that they didn’t consider me family because they exclude me from any family events but I just thought that’s just how they are.

We both go to school and work to pay bills. We are responsible adults and we are close to graduating. It’s not like we live off of any of his family members or mine. They always have something to say when we decide to take the relationship to the next level. We moved in together last August and his grandma had an issue with that.

Everything was going well... or so I thought. I found him once again on tinder and stuff. I was tired of putting in effort and just left and moved back home. I literally would let him be, wouldn’t contact him unless he texted me, and wouldn’t ask him to do anything with me. After being apart for months I let him come visit me. He was at my house during April for like an entire month because he didn’t want to back to his grandma’s. His grandma flipped shit and threaten to cut him off from the family because he was spending time with me.

We decided to try this relationship out again and moved back to our apartment. At the beginning of May I found out I was pregnant. I was super excited and he wanted to be but I could tell he wasn’t. He was scared about how his family was going to react. I get it, it’s scary I was scared too. My family was excited and fine with because we live together by ourselves.

He decided to tell his grandma face to face. He planned on going to his grandma for a weekend to spend time with her and tell her the news. He told his mom over the phone and she completely changed and was being rude about it. I wasn’t expecting that from his mom because I would go out of my way to do things for and spend time with her and she never seemed to have a problem with that. He ended up telling his grandma and she flipped shit. He didn’t want to come back to the apartment and started telling me it was a mistake and that we shouldn’t do it. Like... it’s kind of to late for you to decide that. I will not get an abortion because it’s something I won’t do.

It seems like every time we plan on doing something or something serious happens his grandma and mom always have something to say. She is very manipulative and uses money and family to control him. They both started texting my phone and my moms phone because he broke his. His grandma and mom started to accuse me of being abusive and that I’m keeping him from them. They assumed that I broke his phone, I didn’t. I actually have to tell him to call them so that they don’t start saying I kidnapped him or something. He just doesn’t want to talk to them because they just start talking shit about me. They keep telling him to go back to his grandma or they’ll cut him off. They keep saying I’m just using him and that it’s probably not his.

The thing is that I feel like he should be putting them both in their place so that he can be heard and not bullied into doing what they want. I’m sick of it because it’s been four years of us together we literally do everything together. He has his friends and everything it’s not like I keep him from anyone. I offer to drive him two hours so that he can see his family, but doesn’t want to. I just don’t understand what’s the problem with us moving on in our relationship and it’s keeping us from have a good relationship because they are constantly putting things in his head. He can’t decide anything by himself because of them. I don’t know what to do honestly. Is this normal behavior?

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