My waters broke at home on the evening of the 6th of June I believe ( due date was 29th of May) expecting a 95th percentile baby boy as a FTM. All along I was worried about his size but kept getting reassurance that I was tall and that I should be perfectly fine with a 95th percentile baby.

Anyways my waters broke and they were yellow which I knew instantly from many of you ladies experiences was not normal so I phoned my emergency midwife who informed me cause I was a week and 1 day overdue that baby had probably done a poo and that I should proceed to come in which I did.

Labour didn’t progress fast at all and after a good few hours there I was still 1cm with a very thick cervix. as he had done a poo they wanted him out rather sooner than later so they put me on a hormone drip to speed things along. The contractions came fast and made his heart beat drop dangerously low on more than one occasion during labour (scary!) buzzers pressing people rushing in all that fun stuff!

Eventually we get to around 5cm and nicely softened and by that point around 24 hours in labour I am exhausted and in so much pain I’m literally betting them to make it stop so I get an epidural. It worked heavenly until I got further along and needed a stronger top up. But it worked so well that I could not feel the contractions when it eventually became time to push. So the midwife helped me to do a practice push which she said was great but she knew I was tired so the doctor came and he was worried at this point that baby was getting distressed, waters broken for too long without arrival of baby I developed a high temperature during labour and basically said I’ll have to help you deliver baby if you agree.

I agreed so he made a cut to help baby come out and used forceps to deliver my baby. Still with the cut I managed to tear inside my cervix, I tore the muscle in my bum, and my vagina right from the front to the my bum hole. (Sorry graphic and gross I know) to third degree. It hurts sooo fucking much I can’t even tell you 😢

After all that I couldn’t pee by myself so I’ve had to have a catheter inserted I am now scared I’ll never be able to pee again! 😐 I also can’t poop and I have been taking laxatives to try to make it happen (don’t seem to be working) and I’m terrified of it actually working!

Now I have an infection which was firstly being treated by intravenous antibiotics but now being done with oral antibiotics.

My baby has jaundice, an infection and is waiting for his lumbar puncture to determine how best to treat his infection.

I’ve never been so sore, stressed, upset and whatever else you can think of in your life. But I’m also totally in love with my baby and just want him to be okay!

He weight a whopping 10pounds 7oz and a half at birth! Closer to the 100th percentile than the 95th.

Here’s a few pictures of him. We won’t be allowed home for at least an other 5 days.