I need help

January 4th of last year I went to this guys house who was my friend.

I regret not going back home when I saw that his parents weren’t there.

We smoked, and I was high. Things were getting blurry and I had to lay down.

When we were laying he started moving down.

More happened.

I couldn’t speak.

It was hurting so bad.

I wanted to scream and kick him but I was just so tired.

I’m trying so hard to heal.

I just want to forget about it and get over it.

The boyfriend I’m with now is so so caring and he’s trying to help me.

I feel terrible when I flinch when he touches me.

He’s so patient with me but I want to get better.

How can I get better.